The B2B Marketing Annual Conference
If you're in a pinch and have a murderous king who is demanding that you spin straw into gold overnight or have your head cut off, don't worry, we're here to help and save your head.
The gold we create from straw is 100% authentic gold, and is backed by our personal guarantee. Your murderous king won't be able to tell the difference between our StrawMade™ gold and the real thing. The crazy, brutal, bipolar king will be so happy with the gold, that instead of chopping off your head, he'll make you his queen instead!
If you've got just a small tower room filled with straw, or a whole gigantic hall, we can convert it all to gold.
Rumpelstiltskin works around the clock to get you the results you need. We make the impossible, possible.
Even if you don't have the money to pay, Rumpelstiltskin is always flexible with alternative forms of payment. Rings, necklaces, future children, we'll accept any form of payment.